Difficult Week

This has been such a hard week. David has been away at an air show & staying at his friend's house. We have only been able to talk a half hour to one hour at the most each day. I really lost it on him this evening when he sent me an IM saying that he had fallen asleep & it was now too late for a phone call because he has to get up early in the morning. I was extremely upset, but we ended up talking on the phone anyway. I guess it bothered me more than normal because of all the stress I have been under. Just when I think I have things under control, one tiny thing goes and knocks me totally off balance.

I have a lot on my plate right now. I am trying to pack the house for the move to Michigan in two weeks, while keeping in mind that hopefully we will be moving to England in December, so I really need to get rid of a lot of stuff. It's incredibly difficult to try to sort & pack a house with a 16 month-old toddling around, getting into everything. I'm also stressing about getting Abbie enrolled in school and finding a job for myself and daycare for Alex. Is isn't going to be easy to find a teaching job or even an assistant job when I will be leaving in December. I just hope that I can get lucky enough to get someones maternity leave. Otherwise, I am going to just take any kind of job that I can get as long as it pays Alex's daycare and leaves me a little money left over.

My biggest stress right now is getting through the divorce. I talked to an attorney's office this week. The secretary told me that I can't even sign the papers until we have been separated for one year and one day. Great! So much for getting the papers prepared before I move to Michigan. She also quoted me an insane price. I almost cried, just hearing how much they charge. I am going in on Monday anyway to talk to the attorney & find out what she has to say. I have an appointment on Thursday to talk to another attorney who gave me a quote half the price the other one is charging. I'm not real excited about the second one. He is just a small town lawyer, but I will talk to both lawyers and see what feels right.

I am really stressed about the divorce. It has to be airtight in regard to the custody, otherwise I won't be able to take the kids to England. A is being a total jerk. He is saying that he won't even sign the divorce papers. I just hope that he continues his usual irresponsible, lazy ways and just ignores the papers. Once they are served he has thirty days to respond. He can sign them & the divorce will go through right away or he can just ignore them & it will go through in 30 days without his signature. Or, my worst fear, he can contest it. Like I said, I just hope he continues the same stupid path that has kept him from filing his taxes or maintaining auto insurance, among other things.

Once the divorce goes through, I have to apply for the kids' passports and my replacement passport with the name change. Once I get those back, we can apply for our visas. All of this costs so much money & is so stressful. I think that once I can get the divorce finalized, I will be ok.

On top of all that stress, I am supposed to be planning a wedding too. I did talk to David & we've decided that it would be better to try to get married in January rather than December. Both of our birthdays are in December, along with Christmas. That is a lot to contend with. I also have to live in Nottingham for 22 days before we can get married, so I think January would be a better time to aim for.

I guess with all of this, it's no wonder that a small thing like not being able to talk to David for one day seems like the end of the world. These next few months are not going to be easy. I am sure that I will have several little break downs, but we will get through it, and I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Now back to trying to sort, pack & clean, with Alex running around wreaking havoc. *sigh*